Posted by: Corri van de Stege | January 29, 2008

Out and about – The Road

Whereas last week I began to wonder whether I would be clustered to my (working) desk for the rest of my life, writing, researching and more writing (not, mind you, creative writing as I’ve said before) suddenly I am all over England again: ranging from London, to Birmingham and then to Coventry and further on to Bristol and more Birmingham next week.  Why is there never a  balance in life?  It would be really, and I mean really, nice to be out and about just once or twice a week , preferably leaving the house not too early, and coming back at a sensible time, not midnight.  I left at six this morning and came back at six, so that’s not so bad I suppose, until I realise that I have to do this again on Thursday,  AND on Friday.  It’s the travelling that’s the killer (four to seven hours on any one day).

Well, all this travelling set me musing again, there is still this poetry challenge to work my way through and come what may I am going to have to submit something – I cannot hide behind reading endless short stories and Bulgakov and then enjoying myself writing reviews.  Nope.  Not allowed.  Not in my book: once I’ve committed I’m committed, so I have to do this poetry thing.  Travelling by car on the road can be an inspiration though, even if it is nightmarish at time.  So, let’s call this one:

[where W is short for the name of a place, but I cannot give that one away – too obvious ]:

White caps to W

I travel the script so many times
writing the wheel, the clouds
unfolding the map to change the direction
of whitecaps covering my lines.
The bucolic deception weaves the action
of this crustacean route
into a moonscape of consignments
full of curling muck.

The gritty fumes of heavy trucks
vie with the boychaser for my attention,
dismembering my trance,
while dead flies litter the road
and I drive my ambition
into the bleakness of soulless traction.

You see, this is an attempt at a sonnet, without full rhymes and with lines that are all over the place.   Well, I’ve only been a poet for one month or so!

If you enjoy good poetry, and I mean good and interesting poetry, then go and enjoy this site.  I think these are great poems, they make you think.   And they are technically clever.

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Responses

  1. Great poem, very tangible with some very nice wordplay! The first four lines stand out in particular. They make for a very strong opening. And I just love this ‘moonscape of consignments / full of curling muck.’ Very, very nice imagery.

    What about the last two lines, though? I’m not sure about ‘drive my ambition’ here, it is a received phrase (despite the wordplay with being in a car and everything).

    Also wondering if you could make ‘bleakness of soulless traction’ more precise? But I’m saying that despite my liking that last line… 😉

    Oh, and thanks for the link 🙂

  2. How nice! This is really very much appreciated and I’ll ponder a bit more. I felt very satisfied with having found the those lines about ‘driving my ambition’, but yes, there must be loads of poets who had thought about that one before. Only for me it was the first time 🙂 thanks for these comments – they are very helpful.

  3. I enjoyed your poem. Interesting word usage.

    I wish I could write more coherent feedback for you but I am too bleary from work now. I’ll be back when I’m rested up.

  4. KIm: nice to see you: know what you mean about fealing bleary eyed: I’m sitting here in a hotelroom after a day’s work, wanting to throw my computer out of the window because the 3G just takes ages to get from one page to the other… I’m going to read a little I think.

  5. Once a poet ever a poet. It is in your vein, don’t weaken and keep along those lines, Seachanges. I read your sonnet and I liked it.

    Poetry in my opinion must be read aloud so that the sound of it accompanies the wording, poets’ aims are on most occasions mysterious to the normal human being because their brains do not work in the same way as ours do. They are more sophisticated and their spirit is a most important component of their poetry.

    Go on ahead without fear. It is my advice.

  6. Jose: glad you liked my sonnet. I am still mulling over it on how to improve on it. I agree with how difficult it is to get it right! Your comments are as always very much appreciated.
    x


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